troubles and prosperity.

Here's something I've never told anyone. I feel like I live two different lives with two different mes. Going to two different kinds of people. Both lives have different strengths and weaknesses, though I like both separate and this is more of an observation than a need for change. Don't fix what isn't broken, you know?

I've been floating on the good cloud of Karma. Shit's good, it's golden. Had a really good weekend, made a lot of memories, thanked Whoeversoutthere for such good company. I've also decided I'm going to start a new project for myself, the good deeds project. Not sure about the details, but basically I'm going to do good deeds everyday and ask others to pass them along. Should be simple. We learned this kind of thing in elementary school, right? These little projects keep me going.

I've been thinking a lot about self-improvement and actually took a painful look at my own faults. I don't like negativity, I avoid it most times, but this was necessary. It's something I've been wanting to deal with but mostly ignored. There's some things about me that I don't like that I want to change. Today something happened I didn't like, and it was the first time I noticed this fault of mine, though it's been going on for years. I guess it was okay in the beginning, but not now. This will be my biggest fault of mine I want to rid.

Secret: I can't comprehend love anymore. When I see it displayed on television, movies, ads, I think 'ick. stupid. fake. gross. pointless', or just thinking nothing of it at all. Nobody really interests me anymore whatsoever. Valentine's Day is coming up. This will be the first year I've spent it alone since 7th grade, but I really don't care. Even a little happy about this fact. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't care for love or romance anymore. Not in an unhappy way, just in a, 'whatever it really doesn't matter' kind of way, you know? Is something wrong with me?