mkay.

Damn I havent blogged in so long.

Today I went to Saturday School. It was lame as hell. I had absolutley nothing to do so I started writing a story. I'm not sure if I like it to much. It feels a little to personal. I always told myself I wouldn't write a book about me. But anyways, it felt so nice just to sit and write. I feel like I've been to busy lately with work and trying to finish the school year off with good grades I've forgotten to do the things I like to do. Writing is amazing. I know I'm meant to do it.

I closed the past 2 nights at work. It's not that bad, not that bad at all. I used to hate working. I was actually really looking forward to it today. I don't know. I just guess I'm sick of being so resentful all the time. Especially the last few months.

I'm realizing I'm finishing high school with flaws I thought I'd break away from by the time high school ended. Yes, I've changed in numerous ways, but the person I don't like is still there. Lately I've just been doing things for myself. I'm to much of a people pleaser and don't care enough for myself. That needs to change, and it is.

That's probably the main thing in my life right now. God I'm so sick of trying to please everyone. Sometimes I don't even know if I know who I am. I absolutley refuse to 'live' like that anymore.

On another note, I now see you as an ugly stain in my life. I cannot stand you any longer. You bring me down more than anyone. You deceive people with your fake smile, your fake voice. You saw me as a weak person and you took advantage of that. You're not better than anybody, even though you think you're so damn superior to everyone around you. I hate how uncomfortable you make me feel. I can't be myself with you. Do everyone a favor and get over yourself.

I am shedding everything negative in my life. I will surround myself with people I want to surround myself with. I will put myself before others, not selfishly, but as any self-respecting person should. I will be myself.

Tomorrow will be an adventure. I'm gonna get a super awesome tan. (:

That's it. Goodnight.