amazing

So today I graduated from High School. I can't believe I actually did it! 4 years of hard work, heart breaks, fake friends, real friends, finding my place, tears, and smiles. These past 4 years really have tested me and when I look back, I feel like I made all the right decisions. Everything worked out in the end, and at this point I'm so happy to be where I am. What's next? Who knows. I'll be moving to Sacramento in September. I can't even imagine what's going to happen.

In all honesty, when I think of high school, I'll remember all the friends I made, even the ones I lost. The people I used to call my 'best'. All the new things I've tried, even if I failed at them. All the hard work I spent my junior year for a 4.0. The first show I went to at the cellar. Freshman year, the most awkward year of my life. Weekends with Rene. Chemistry and lunch with Tina. Becoming good friends with Nicole all over again. Amanda always being there with me through absolutley everything, and showing me what a true best friend is. My EJ, and all the love he's shown me. Sophomore English with Joe and Guillermo. Senor Leon, Mr. Hood, Mr. Drouin, Sawyer, Mistahhh Brown, Goichafea (haha), Eckman, Nunn, and all the cool teachers I had. I'll remember the hole in my locker that everyone put their food wrappers in (jerks!). Breakfast with Panda. Brandon and his car. My first journalism interview. Mondays with Karen. Smoking my first cig. All Halloweens.

I'll remember so much <3
Thank you for being a part of it.

mkay.

Damn I havent blogged in so long.

Today I went to Saturday School. It was lame as hell. I had absolutley nothing to do so I started writing a story. I'm not sure if I like it to much. It feels a little to personal. I always told myself I wouldn't write a book about me. But anyways, it felt so nice just to sit and write. I feel like I've been to busy lately with work and trying to finish the school year off with good grades I've forgotten to do the things I like to do. Writing is amazing. I know I'm meant to do it.

I closed the past 2 nights at work. It's not that bad, not that bad at all. I used to hate working. I was actually really looking forward to it today. I don't know. I just guess I'm sick of being so resentful all the time. Especially the last few months.

I'm realizing I'm finishing high school with flaws I thought I'd break away from by the time high school ended. Yes, I've changed in numerous ways, but the person I don't like is still there. Lately I've just been doing things for myself. I'm to much of a people pleaser and don't care enough for myself. That needs to change, and it is.

That's probably the main thing in my life right now. God I'm so sick of trying to please everyone. Sometimes I don't even know if I know who I am. I absolutley refuse to 'live' like that anymore.

On another note, I now see you as an ugly stain in my life. I cannot stand you any longer. You bring me down more than anyone. You deceive people with your fake smile, your fake voice. You saw me as a weak person and you took advantage of that. You're not better than anybody, even though you think you're so damn superior to everyone around you. I hate how uncomfortable you make me feel. I can't be myself with you. Do everyone a favor and get over yourself.

I am shedding everything negative in my life. I will surround myself with people I want to surround myself with. I will put myself before others, not selfishly, but as any self-respecting person should. I will be myself.

Tomorrow will be an adventure. I'm gonna get a super awesome tan. (:

That's it. Goodnight.

Finally Home!

So today, I finally came home from Science Camp. My experience there was good and bad. Most of the kids I had were so fun to be around, with a few exceptions. At some points I wanted to strangle those little fuckers, but I survived. It's so weird not to listen to music or watch T.V. or be surrounded by buildings. I got so used to hearing campfire songs and being surrounded by redwood trees, it was soo weird to come back home and hear REAL music and see buildings. Idk, I think it's something you have to experience yourself. Some crazy shit happened up there and the sherriff even came down and I was questioned. Sixth graders nowadays are freakin CRAZY! How do they know so much about sex and drugs? WTF?

Anyways, I'm so glad I met new people, like Sahar and Vanessa. If I didn't have them to vent to, I probably would have shot myself.

Tonight was a good night. Some of the cabin leaders and some other people went to dinner. We were all just so happy to be back in Tracy. And thats weird because I hate Tracy. Kayron and I went to Barnes and Nobles and did some other shit. Hekka good way to end this week.

Tomorrow is a busy day, but it's gonna be funnn. I can't wait.


Science Camp Quotes from various people:
"Like yah, I totally get it now, like a sea star, Yah!" Hahahaha (:
"You are not da worthy one squirelllll"
"YOU RETARD!!!"
"JOY, Gabby's hitting me AGAIN!"
"Everybody loves Shakira WOOT WOOT!"
"Do you have a PSP?"
"I wasn't sure if it was a dick, so I asked her because she would know!"
"OH MY GOD, THAT'S A FUCKING DICK!"
"You can see his nipple rings through his tight shirt!"
"Caitlin! Oh, I mean Cassie! No wait, I mean Crystal!"
"WAIT FOR ME!!.... or i'll kick your fucking ass"

Yeahhhhh. (: