Christmas Eve.

Hm. It's the 5th day of 16 of Winter Break. I'm at home and my mommy has already made plenty of food, which I probably should not be eating. Yesterday I hung out with EJ in the morning. We watched ItLoW. Why is Adam Brody sooo cute? *sigh* X) After I went 'malling' with Adam and Amanda. We watched "Yes Man" which I didn't find funny/entertaining at all. Neither did Amanda because she fell asleep lolol. Stupid Jim Carey. Then we rode the bus to Amanda's house and played Guitar Hero and watched this movie called "After Sex". It was funny. I'd watch it again.

So anyways. December went by way to fast! I don't like it.

I went to work yesterday to turn in my secret santa gift and mines wasn't there yet. I bet you whoever got me forgot about it or didnt get me something or something like that happened, because that is just my luck. Oh well. :)

I don't know if my dad will have a job after this holiday season. This upsets me very much.

:(

Merry Christmas.

Good News! :D

Sooooooo today my mother came into my room and said I had mail. It was in one of those big envelopes and I saw it was from Sac State. I opened it and guess what! I GOT ACCEPTED! WOOOOOOOOOT! I'm suuuuper happy and excited! I didn't think I was gonna get in!

EJ was the first person I called and I'm sure I was making all kinds of high pitched squeaky noises cuz thats how I sound when I'm really excited about something. X) This is veryy good news!

Finals this week are gonna be easy. Today I only had one final, which I finished in half an hour. Tomorrow I only have one final, and then my journalism class is going to la villa! Isn't that sweeet? And then Friday I have one final and one presentation. Awesome, awesome.

And on Friday, baby comes home for a whole monthh! I am so excited. I really am in love with this boy. He brings out the best in me and gives me those feelings in my tummy :D This is gonna be the best month ever.

Gosh, I think im blushing X)

Love.

Today I had a dream. We were walking downtown, arm in arm, my head on your shoulder. The lights lit up the street and the stars were out. I told you how much I missed you and you told me you love me. I could hear your heartbeat as we stood close together in silence. Everything was perfect.

This is the happiest I've been all week.
I miss you so incredibly much.

I hate today.

Ugh. So I've been in a pretty shitty mood the past few days. Not to mention I'm hardcore PMSing (sorry, T.M.I. i know). Every tiny thing gets under my skin and I just wanna punch someone in the face. I'm so stressed with these deadlines and finals and school I just wanna give up altogether. Latley I've been feeling like I have no one to talk to. Everyone's so consumed in their own shit they don't even take a minute to ask me, "So how are YOU today?". I'm always the listener. Never the talker.

Really, I'm just fucking sick of everyone and everything around me. I hate this school. I hate all these stupid people.

I want to get far far away from all you people.

Maybe I'll go be a monk and live all in seclusion. Ha. To bad I'm not religous.

Negative Ned.

So its Tuesday afternoon and I am, once again, at home instead of school. It's a rare occasion when I actually make a full week of school. It's just so routine and boring and I don't feel like I'm getting much out of it to be honest. I mean, all the effort I put into my journalism class is a waste, since 95% of students don't even know we have a school newspaper. My math class is a joke, seeing as our teacher doesn't even teach. Psychology is all just theory that I won't need to recall later in life. And you get the idea. I wish I could just focus on the things that I would want to pursue later and cut the rest of this bullshit. I hate you Tracy High.

Can't these next 2 weeks just fast forward? Please?

Thanksgiving Break!

Oh man so my Thanksgiving Break was pretty sweet! I love not having to go to school, waking up whenever I want, and seeing friends. I'm pretty bummed that tomorrow I have to go back to school and get more Saturday School hours. Fuuck those ladies in the office. They're douche bags.

So yesterday me and my boyfriend EJ went to the city. It was so pretty at night time! We saw some crazy lady who looked like she was on crack and was screaming about how everyone was bothering her. And a hobo who couldn't stand up. I got a scarf, a cardigan, and a hoodie so I'm happy. Then we got back to Tracy and watched Bridge to Terebithia. Oh God, that movie is the saddest movie ever! I started crying soo much. I don't understand why they had to kill Leslie =[ R.I.P Leslie!

I sent in my last college application just now. I really hope I get accepted somewhere. I feel like I won't. =/

So I have a pile of homework that's waiting for me that I reallyyy do not want to do. I just don't care about school anymore. I wish I could drop my journalism class.

Some people fall in love. I had to crash into it.

That quote is probably the only thing I liked about the movie 'How to Deal'.

Anyways, today was a whole lot of fun. I got up super early and Karen picked me up and we got Starbucks. We went over to Steven's house to meet up with Steven and Matt. We went to the mall and couldn't get into Role Models because I guess the Tracy mall has decided to start carding for rated R movies. Hella lame. So we drove around for a little bit then decided we should just go to Hometown Buffet. Hella good idea! Ha, the food was soo good X) If you're my friend on myspace, I have pictures of our plates barely in the middle of lunch. We saw a group of Twilight fans and a SCARY old lady who looked like she wanted to kill us. It was such a fun day. I think we're gonna do it again some day soon.

My work has been absolutley CRAZY. For Thanksgiving 600 of our pies were ordered so it makes trying to find things so difficult. It's really irritating and I just wanna throw all the pies out.

Tomorrow should be a really good day! I miss you so much! =]

So I have this sleep disorder

where I wake up and if I try to go back to sleep, my whole entire body paralyzes and I can't move at all. This used to scare me so much when it first started happening to me about a year ago, but now it doesn't. Probably because after I fall asleep after these paralyzed moment, I have the most unique, colorful, memorable dreams ever. This morning, I actually had 3 dreams. They were pretty weird and out there, but I feel refreshed when i wake up. It's kinda weird I guess.

So I've been sick for the past few days. Everything is like sensory overload. Like at work, just the sound of the spades hitting the stone made my head hurt. I can hardly hear since my ears constantly need to be popped. I'm so exhausted. But I guess it could be a whole lot worse. I just wanna go to sleep for the next couple of days.

The holidays are coming up, and unlike last year, I can actually feel the 'holiday' spirit. Maybe because my work is constantly playing Christmas music -_- Ha, anyways, I'm pretty excited for this year. I can't wait to go ice skating and go shopping!

Someone should define the term 'soon' for me.

Dreamy Pretty Music...

I've been doing pretty good the past few days :) Today I spoke to an old friend who I used to be really close with last year. It was nice to see a familiar face and catch up on a few things. I hope she doesn't have a bad impression on me because of the things certain people have told her about me.

Today I also sent in some paperwork to CSU Sacramento. All I have to send in is my transcript and I should be hearing from them sometime soon in January. I plan to send in my applications for San Francisco and possibly Cal Poly sometime soon. I'm just still not sure if that's where I even want to go. Hm.

So for my psychology class, I have to do a 1000 word precis on a simple experiment. I'm still not sure what experiment I want to do, I'll try to find one by the end of this week. I want to do something hellov interesting.

The weather is getting colder and just like every winter, all these couples are appearing out of nowhere. Seeing all these people having someone to hold makes me miss a certain person. It's true when they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I love and miss you so much.

Owl City is really good.

Unsure.

So the past few days have been a whirlwind. My dad works for Circuit City, which just went bankrupt. What does that mean for me and my family? It means my dad is going to be laid off. The thought of this scares me so much. I'm more concerned for my mom and little brother than myself because I know that I'll be leaving here soon for college. When I heard the news I started thinking of all the things that could happen to my family and I started crying. I hate to see the people I love going through hard times like this. Maybe I just worry to much and everything will be ok. God, I hope so.

For now I'm just really thankful for the friends that I know are there for me. If I didn't have you, I would probably go crazy. Especially you, you know who you are. I love you so much.

In the news I've always heard about how bad the economy is, but it never affected me so personally until now.

Honestly, I'm really scared.

Like I care.

So I talked to you yesterday for the first time in who knows how long. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like everytime we talk, you always have to imply how much better you're doing without me. I admit I have to feel just a tad bit bad for you if you need that kind of validation. I really am glad you're happy, that's the whole reason why I broke up with you remember? It kind of makes me want to chuckle X)

Anyways, I spent this lovely Veteran's Day with my bestest fwend Amanda Jane. I watched Zack and Miri for the second time, even though I had no ID to buy a ticket -_- and I even made 15 dollars drinking some soda. It was fun!

I also had another crazy dream last night, where it ended with me laying on the floor with the sun shining on me. It was weird. But all of my dreams are.

I think I want to buy a canvas tomorrow and paint my little heart out. There's been a lot on my mind latley.

Dreams

So I've been having several crazy dreams latley. I think it's because I am really stressed right now about a lot of things. I mean, college applications are due in a few weeks and I havent even decided which ones I want to apply to. And it also majorly sucks that I have to pay for like everything. Seriously, everything. Cap and Gown, Senior Pictures, SATs, even my college applications. Not to mention Girls Treat and Christmas is coming up. Holy whoa, I need a new job. It's kinda BS but whatever. But hey, at least I'm gaining some sort of responsibility right?

Other than that, I'm doing pretty good. I had a very lovely weekend of sleeping in and spending my days the ways I want to. It's nice to forget about other things for a little bit.

I think I'm gonna write some more in here later.

Hello

My name is Joy :)